GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

• No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
  
• When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
  
• If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
  
• Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  
• You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
  
• Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
  
• Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
  
• You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  
• Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
  
• The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.